April 11

“For sex addicts, resentment is one of the most stubborn obstacles to our spiritual growth.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 34

I nursed a sullen, bitter resentment towards my father for decades. He took up three pages of my Fourth Step the first time through it. He had been a rageaholic, with an explosive temper. He likely belonged in our club, having had serial affairs with my mother’s friends.

For this last offense I painted him the villain and swore that I would never be like him. As I became more and more like him through my own addiction, I began to feel compassion for him. Through my recovery in SAA, I began to see our linked patterns and, perhaps more importantly, how my resentment and silence towards him had driven my life and blinded me. In the subsequent steps, I began to let go. On my second time through the Fourth Step, my father did not even make it on the list!

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I am grateful for the miracles of recovery.