View all:  Voices of Recovery

April 16

“And as we grow in recovery, many of us choose to integrate our sexuality with our spirituality. When we are sexual with love, gratitude, and generosity, sex can be an expression of our highest spiritual ideals.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 73

I spent many years trying to control my sexuality in one way or another. When I realized I was being ruled by addictive behaviors, I tried to stifle, bury, or run from sexual feelings, and I shamed myself for having passions. I had no clear concept of what healthy sexuality was, and I was afraid of being used or of using others. I didn’t view sex as anything spiritual. I couldn’t even use the words “God” and “sex” in the same sentence, much less invite my Higher Power to help me experience the spiritual side of sexuality.

But in recovery, I have come to believe that sexuality is a God-given part of who I am. As I surrendered my addiction, I saw the need to surrender control over other areas of my sexual behavior. I started putting my sexual life in the care of a loving God. I am learning to include Higher Power in my sexuality, channeling that energy into behaviors that promote intimacy and connection with my partner. When my sexuality isn’t being used to control someone else, nor controlling me, when I allow God into my sexuality; it becomes a powerful gift that both my partner and I can enjoy—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Higher Power, help me use my sexuality to express love, appreciation, and faith.