View all:  Voices of Recovery

April 2

“We have found it helpful to ask ourselves, ‘Am I willing to go to any length to stay sexually sober and to recover?’”

“Sexual Sobriety and the Internet”

I had finally had an acting-out experience that was demoralizing enough to get me to a meeting. I knew of two meetings and attended one a few days later. Later, looking at the meeting schedule, I was distressed to learn how far the meetings were from where I lived. I had just moved, and none were close. Some were as far as fifteen miles away.

After a meeting, I was complaining to somebody about the distance and expressed doubt as to whether the program was really for me. After all, had I been led to the program before I chose to move, I would have been closer to the meetings. He replied with some of the wisest words I had ever heard: “How far did you go to act out?”

My most recent acting-out experience was about forty miles from home. Also, because I had anticipated that it would be the perfect experience, I had spent significant time arranging for it, and hoped I might repeat it many times.

On the other hand, the meetings, as far away as they were, were simply there for the asking. I needed no special arrangements other than gas in the tank. I became a regular attendee very quickly and now I have a circle of friends and support I could never have imagined.

If I make my sobriety a priority, I open the door for recovery and change.