“We look honestly at the defects that drove our behavior, such as selfishness, desire for control, an attitude of entitlement, or feelings of inferiority of superiority.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 33
When I got to the Fourth Step, I felt overwhelmed at the idea of examining in detail the sexual harms I had committed and the character defects that drove me to commit them.
My sponsor gave me a prayer and instructed me to say it every day during this process. I was to ask God to give me “the strength and the courage to see what I need to see about myself, remember what I need to remember, and do what I need to do to complete my Fourth Step inventory.”
This prayer was the key to my being able to do this painstaking work. On my own, I would not have had the courage to look at all the harm I had done to others and myself in this addiction. I did not complete the Fourth Step inventory on my own. By the time I arrived at the Fourth Step, I had a Higher Power that works. All I needed to do was plug into that Higher Power with prayer.
For today, I know that my Higher Power will always assist me in working the steps, no matter how daunting the task appears to be. All I have to do is surrender my will and ask.