August 31

“Maintaining the freedom we have found requires daily conscious contact with the God of our understanding, expressed by practicing the spiritual principles we have learned in recovery.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 62

My compulsive sexual behavior created a self-imposed prison where I languished for years. Even after getting sober, I would beat myself up over my past and be overly anxious about my future, thereby ruining my day and staying behind bars.

The solution is in the Steps. Among other things, working the Steps taught me to apply the principles of this program to my daily life—principles like honesty, willingness, love, and perseverance. At this point on my path, I find special help in the Eleventh Step. I cannot be conscious of God’s presence if I am living in the past or overly anxious of the future. In other words, conscious contact is right here, right now, this very split second of living. When I get still and quiet, I can become conscious of God’s presence. Hence I become free from all worry and concerns.

My Higher Power’s creations, including me, are not here for me to use or abuse. Having conscious contact with God helps prevent me from acting out and helps me see this moment as the miracle and the gift that it truly is. Thanks to the Steps and the program of SAA, I have learned to invite loving power into my life and I experience freedom I never knew before.

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I consciously invite God into this moment.