“Rigorous honesty…includes…willingness to be honest about what we need to do to stay sober, such as setting healthy boundaries around specific people and places.”
Tools of Recovery, Page 29
Setting my personal boundaries around acting out was straightforward. Much came from defining my three circles with the help of my sponsor. These boundaries gave me enough short-term abstinence for primary spiritual benefits to kick in, providing clarity and direction in subsequent step work.
I realized that healthy boundaries govern all my relationships. Who is it safe to interact with, and to what extent? What am I reasonably expected to give, and when is it appropriate to use self-care and say no? Is someone trying to take advantage of me, or am I trying to take advantage of someone?
My Higher Power does not want me to be a bully or a doormat. Now when I interact with others, I check my motives. Am I aligned with my Higher Power, or am I seeking status and the accolades of others? Am I being selfish in any way? Do I need to step up and assert my own needs? Am I isolating?
I have abundant resources to aid me in this journey: the Twelve Steps, my sponsor, prayer, friends in the program and their experience, and meditation. I also have plenty of opportunities to practice healthy boundaries. Day by day, I am slowly but steadily learning to recognize and set healthy boundaries.
For today, help me recognize and honor my boundaries and those of the people in my life.