December 13

“Throughout all of these ups and downs, I have had one huge blessing…I have had the loving support of the SAA fellowship.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 157

After joining SAA and stopping my acting out, I discovered a deep hunger for connection. I’m sure it had always been there. Despite my insecurity and awkward emotions, I gradually reached out to others within the fellowship. Sometimes a great friendship would blossom. Sometimes a friendship didn’t work out and I felt deeply discouraged, fearing that I had done something wrong. Regardless, my hunger for connection did not go away, so I resolved to keep reaching out.

I have made great friends this way. If I had not been willing to risk rejection and feel some very uncomfortable feelings along the way, I would still be isolated, lonely, and stunted in my ability to have meaningful relationships. I would not be living but merely surviving, just like before entering this program.

I am grateful for the friends I have made. And I am filled with wonder at the many good people in this program whose paths only briefly crossed mine. I believe all these friendships are gifts from God—gifts I had to be present to receive. I am reminded of the saying, “Thank you God, now I know that thorns have roses.” The roses of my friendships are worth the thorns of the difficulties and painful moments I have had along the way.

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Grant me the courage to reach out today. The thorns of my insecurities may lead to the blossoming of a friendship.