“Through applying the Twelve Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous with guidance from a sponsor, our groups and our Higher Power, sex and relation,ships slowly take their rightful place in our lives.”
“Recovery from Compulsive Sexual Avoidance”
I coped with the addictions in my family by becoming withdrawn, quiet, and polite. Adults regarded me as well behaved. Even then, however, I sometimes engaged in impulsive mischief. Beneath my placid exterior a storm was brewing.
When I discovered sexual acting out behaviors, I thought I had finally found a way to meet my needs. I became something of a split personality. But my need for intimacy was not really being met. Hence, my behaviors became more severe until I eventually got into real trouble.
I was encouraged to try a Twelve Step program. With that and therapy I became successful in all areas except forming an intimate relationship. My current therapist suggested SAA. Sure, I had sexual issues, but that program seemed to be for other people. Nevertheless, I starting going to meetings, got a sponsor, and worked the Steps.
I took a good look at my fantasy behavior. Fantasy came between me and any meaningful relationships. A romantic connection was out of the question as long as I lived in a kind of bubble where I could dream of sex whenever I felt the need to be comforted. Today I have many good friends and get along with other people in my life. Although I still feel shy in various social situations, my strength in reaching out to people is growing daily.
I am open to a life based in the real world.