December 8

“When we admit our powerlessness, we start letting go of control and become more open to receiving the help we so desperately need.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 23

To me, our whole program is based on this first step. When I look back to the time I read my First Step in an SAA meeting, I realize that I was just beginning to understand what it means to be powerless. As I have continued in my recovery, powerlessness has become more clearly defined to me—both what it is and what it isn’t.

Powerlessness is not the same as helplessness. Powerlessness is not an acceptance that I will always succumb to addiction, but rather it is a realization that I can’t treat it on my own. I am powerless over my addiction; but my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and my fellow recovering addicts can give me tools to live life on life’s terms.

As a recovering addict, I have had to embrace powerlessness, not as something that can be condensed into a simple, trite, slogan, but as a way of life. I live out powerlessness daily by praying, meditating, making calls to fellow recovering addicts, attending meetings, being honest in my sharing, and working the Twelve Steps with my sponsor. I do these things, not just as self-enrichment exercises, but because I am truly powerless. In return, I am given a freedom I had never known could be mine.

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Powerlessness is the cornerstone of my recovery.