February 12

“Practicing new ways of behavior can help open our hearts to the spiritual changes God wants for us.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 42

When I listed my defects in my inventory, I became discouraged. I felt overwhelmed. It was tough enough to deal with addiction and abstinence. It was painful seeing my defects listed so plainly. When I came to Step Six, I thought, “Well that’s not very practical. All I need is to be ‘entirely ready’?”

A partial answer came when I studied the section on Step Six in Sex Addicts Anonymous. The words willing and willingness appear eight times. When we begin the program of SAA, we acknowledge that we are willing to do whatever it takes, willing to change our way of life. Ah! Now we’re talking action! I can allow myself to be ready for change as I let go of old ways of approaching life.

Many of my old ways of approaching life are now character defects, but on the other side of every defect is an asset. It will take time to replace my defects and discover my assets, but there are things I can do right now. I can ask myself, “What am I doing now—a good action, or a bad action? Is my mind clear, or is it filled with desire, or anger, or …?” As I develop awareness of my thinking and behavior, I begin to learn how and when my defects activate. I can ask my Higher Power for alternative actions, and I can grow in willingness for Step Seven.

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I can be the change I want to see, one step at a time.