February 16

“As we grow in humility, we gradually come to view our lives, and even our problems, with gratitude.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 44

When I first walked into SAA, gratitude was unfathomable to me. I wondered how in the world SAA members could refer to themselves as grateful recovering sex addicts. How can you be grateful for the wrecked lives we bring to these rooms?

Over time and probably repeated mentioning, it dawned on me that these people have gratitude because they practice gratitude. I learned that gratitude can be developed. If resentment is one of the main feeders of our disease, I’ve found gratitude to be one of the best medicines.

In my addiction, my mindset was one of self-pity, of how I had been wronged or was owed by the world. When I came to realize that the universe does not play favorites, and that I am not entitled, I could then cultivate gratitude for what I do have. When I acknowledge that all my good and bad experiences will eventually, often quickly, fade, I can develop non-attachment and appreciate life for what it is. I no longer have to cling to the past or grasp for the future. I can just be present.

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May I bring awareness, not to all my unanswered expectations, but to all the ways my life is made rich, right here, right now. May I recognize life’s passing nature and be thankful for all I have, right here, right now.