February 8

“What has recovery given me? Everything. Recovery has graced every aspect of my life.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 316

I am so grateful I am a sex addict! If you think I’m crazy, I would certainly understand. My acting out was causing cognitive dissonance. I didn’t want to be the person I quite apparently was when I was practicing this disease. I wanted to be a loving person, but I couldn’t stop acting out, and it was killing me inside. However, because of the ravages of my sex addiction, I started going to SAA meetings, arguably the best decision I have ever made.

I am not only free from inner circle behaviors for over a year, I have blessings I never could have imagined for myself. I have become more honest with myself and others than I thought possible. I have started to be truly present with others and experience honest intimacy. I have made friends with some amazing people. I am starting to love and accept myself. I am becoming courageous. I am learning how to handle my emotions in a healthy way. I am becoming a whole, integrated person.

I am grateful to this program and the amazing people in it, and to my Higher Power, who directs my recovery. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t been sick and miserable enough to stumble, ashamed and dazed, through the doors of SAA.

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Little did I realize that recovery is so much more than mere sobriety. I am healing, and I am living.