January 10

“Often we may need the help of other members… another sex addict can bring us back to earth.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 63

Lately I’ve felt that the more willing I am to let my Higher Power take over, the more doors open for me. I am grateful for the opportunities I have had in recovery. The most important door, however, was the one I walked through to get to my first meeting and I don’t know if I could have done it alone. I stood outside the door for what seemed like an eternity. I was gripped by a fear I couldn’t yet fully understand.

Just then a man walked up, carrying boxes of goodies and asked if I was looking for AA. I shook my head no; I was crying. He leaned in and said in a whisper, “SAA?”

I could barely move, but my head shook yes and he told me that it was just inside that door, gesturing with his shoulder. Then he asked me if I could open the door for him. It was a simple request, so I did. And once that door was open, I had to walk inside. At first, the fear blocked me from hearing anything. The fear got louder when I realized I was the only woman in the room. A man sat down next to me and welcomed me to the meeting by handing me some of the pamphlets. That simple gesture helped to calm my fear and open my ears.

After hearing just one share, I knew I was home. I know my Higher Power chose that meeting for me. I was welcomed with open arms and I have never stopped feeling the love and genuine care that the men in my group share with me.

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Thank you God for all the doors you open for me. Continue to guide me through them.