January 13

“I can take it a step at a time and gradually work my way toward spiritual health.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 324

The religion of my youth had very exact descriptions of God and how to be a supplicant. God was personified in the leaders of the religion and I experienced God as abusive. As a result, Step Three was very difficult for me to accept and work. Even though it says “as we understood,” my understanding was not acceptable to me.

Working with my sponsor, I was able to accept the notion of a Higher Power by first acknowledging that many powers are greater than I, and by recalling moments of powerlessness even before joining SAA. But I needed to find a power that was loving, that allowed conscious contact, and that was helpful to my recovery.

I learned that spirituality is usually an action that connects me with something greater. I have found that I can establish conscious contact with my higher values of honesty, kindness, service, and compassion. I have learned that being still and observing nature connects me with something greater. I have learned the power of gratitude and have developed a practice to improve my ability for gratitude. One of the greatest sources of understanding and experiencing my Higher Power is in witnessing the experience, strength, and hope of my sisters and brothers in recovery. I attempt to connect with program friends on a daily basis.

–

I am grateful for this ongoing spiritual awakening.