View all:  Voices of Recovery

January 2

“Honesty, willingness, courage, humility, forgiveness, responsibility, gratitude, and faith are just some of the names we give to the spiritual principles that gradually come to guide us in our lives. As we progress through the program, establishing conscious contact with the God of our understanding, we become aware of these principles within us—like gifts that were always there, unopened until we were ready to receive them.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 61

After a relapse, I contacted several SAA members to be honest about my situation and to reconnect with the fellowship and the program. One member sent me an email with a short but profound message: I love you.

How do we know what is good for us? I had never wished to be a sex addict. In recovery, I never wished for relapse. Yet in the very worst of my fears, I found my greatest strength and courage. And when I admitted the scary truth, I found a loving Higher Power. In this case, it was expressed through the love and understanding of other recovering sex addicts. Even my doubts became signposts that the God of my understanding is close by. When I admitted my doubts, that still, small voice would say, “It’s ok, I’m right here.”

We have all sat in fear and disclosed the truth about what we have done. In our cross-wired beliefs, we were expecting hatred and rejection when we revealed ourselves. Instead, among the fellowship of Sex Addicts Anonymous, we experience love and acceptance.

My Higher Power has provided a safe place to practice honesty—the rooms of SAA.