View all:  Voices of Recovery

January 24

“We look at how we have neglected our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We examine the ways in which we allowed others to abuse us and treat us poorly.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 36

Forgiveness means letting go of the hope or expectation that I can change the past. Today, I can accept that, and that’s all that I’m invited to agree to by saying the word forgive. This brings a huge sense of peace.

In the past, I felt forced to forgive as part of being a good person, but it often meant allowing other people to own my power. It allowed me to be bullied and victimized, and it created the false belief that that’s what I deserved and what life had to offer me.

Forgiveness does not mean I’m going to fix or change the person, their behavior, or the relationship. Also, forgiveness does not mean giving up my boundaries, or being exposed and vulnerable to people who don’t deserve my trust.

Now, forgiveness means loving myself enough to let go of the past and its grip on me, choosing to focus on today and all the wonderful things it has to offer me, including the Steps and all the tools and gifts of recovery. Forgiveness means honoring and caring for my greatest gift and responsibility—my life. Today, I have a choice.

God, I thank you for recovery, for forgiveness, and for my ability to be open to a wonderful present.