January 28

“We may never be able to fully understand what those we have harmed have gone through, but we can ask for the willingness to have this understanding given to us, in God’s time.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 48

I struggle to understand what harm I may have caused some people from my past. Over the years, some people have cut off contact with me, but I cannot recall what I may have done to cause this. Something lingers in my memory: a sense of guilt and remorse, maybe accurate, maybe not.

I may not be able to get into their heads to understand if I have done something to impact them, but I am reminded that my Higher Power can help me if I am willing to ask. It may take time and require a great deal of patience, but I believe it is worth the effort. If it is meant to be, the opportunity will present itself. I just have to be ready and willing.

In the meantime, I can continue to acknowledge the harms I remember causing others. In going through the process of identifying those I have harmed and being specific about those harms, I am able to move forward in Step Eight. With each person I identify and with each action I take ownership of, I come that much closer to healing my past. Calling upon my Higher Power, and with the support of my sponsor and fellows in SAA, I discover the willingness to make amends to those I have harmed.

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I can do what I can do. Today, that is enough.