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January 31

“We ask for and accept help, reaching out to other recovering sex addicts on a regular basis, instead of living in secrecy. “

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 31

Secrets can be devastating to my sexual and relational sobriety. They can be a back door through which the ills of my addiction can pass. When I start to be selective about the information I share with my sponsor, I set myself up for relapse.

One addict really does know when another is setting himself or herself up. When I start to go underground and isolate, there is no opportunity to do a reality check or halt the progression or cycle. Owning my thoughts and behaviors to another recovering addict can stop the downward spiral.

I have learned that the thoughts and behaviors I try to keep secret are shame-based. The fact that I try to hide them is a clear message that they are unsafe and can wreak havoc in my life. Bringing them out into the light exposes them for what they are—phantoms without substance. It also helps me stay accountable to myself and to life.

Today I contract to share secret thoughts and behaviors with another recovering addict.