January 9

“The lightning jolts of terror I registered then, I would come to understand as Higher Power surges shocking my heart back to life.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 114

As a physician, I have witnessed the miraculous capacity of electrical shock to restore life to patients who might otherwise be considered dead. As an addict, compulsively striving to avoid pain at all cost, I progressively deadened myself to this life force. At the end, God could only reach me through the violent shocks that comprised my bottom and my turning point.

My experience since entering recovery is that my Higher Power’s love is a current that permeates everything. With every meeting, admission, amends, prayer, and act of service, I scrape off the corrosion that blocked this current from my heart. By establishing a daily practice of meditation, I consciously invite the current of my Higher Power as a more continuous flow of life and love through my heart. It’s always here, free, for everyone and everything. It doesn’t judge. All I have to do is be still, be how and who I am right now, and be open. God can handle the rest.

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In connecting with the healing energy of my Higher Power, I welcome the surges of energy—joy, pain, compassion, peace—that may come with this life-giving connection.