July 15

“We find our serenity growing as we align our will with God’s in each new area that is revealed to us.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 58

Much of my life I lived without understanding the healing and transformative power that God’s love could have in my life. Confused and turned off by my early religious teachings, I rejected those ideas about God, instead turning to others and to selfishness for my identity. “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” was my motto. Fear and insecurity were constant companions, leading me further into my addictive life with ever greater pain, hopelessness, and shame.

Today I realize that God was there all the time, waiting and watching for me to find the willingness to ask for and accept help. Desperation was my motivation and the Twelve Steps were the key to opening myself to a new understanding of God, one that continues to unfold and to empower my life.

I understand the healing power that God’s will can have for me, but I am in charge of making that conscious contact first. Like a TV signal that is always present, God waits patiently for me to turn on the set and tune in the channel to receive the colorful messages. God delivers love and acceptance that I always wanted and needed.

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Today I trust that my prayers will be answered, but I must open the channel.