July 16

“In taking the Eleventh Step, we dedicate ourselves to an increasing spiritual awareness and a greater connection with our Higher Power.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 55

It was time to start meditating. I already had an image and a sense of my Higher Power, but now I felt like I needed a feeling, too. I searched for a safety, a comfort. I thought about a good friend, and what it felt like to sit next to him and lean into him physically. I had felt safe and protected, but now he’d moved away. What or who could I lean into instead?

I have a fleece blanket with my favorite cartoon character on it. I got out the blanket and draped it across my shoulders, enfolding myself in it. Suddenly, I felt warm, cared for, and satisfied. For the next two years I wrapped up in the blanket whenever I meditated, drawing closer to God through a manmade piece of material. And it was good.

–

I draw closer to my Higher Power in a way that feels good to me.