July 19

“We need patience to work the Seventh Step, and trust that our Higher Power can help us.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 44

It is said that the only constant is change. As a sex addict, change was initially a scary proposition for me. I’ve lived so long with my addiction that I’ve come to rely on it as I would a faithful friend. While working the program of Sex Addicts Anonymous, I tended to want those positive changes to occur according to my expectations, to my calculations, to my timetable. God had other ideas.

Impatience can be an obstacle to my recovery, a set-up for me to act out. The temptation for me is to buy in to the lies by convincing myself that good things are not happening fast enough, or, “I stopped acting out, so why aren’t things going better now?” I have found that the changes I have experienced as a result of working this program, more often than not, come gradually rather than instantly.

I believe in the miracle of recovery, while trusting the guidance and timing of God. As much as I’d like to, I can’t predict the future. In developing a recovery partnership with God, I’m cultivating an attitude of patient expectation, as I am convinced there are more things for me to learn. I utilize this waiting time creatively by celebrating the changes that do occur in my life, by attending meetings, sponsoring and being sponsored, and being of whatever help I can to the sex addict who still suffers.

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If I continue to work for it, the miracle will happen—in God’s time, not mine.