July 30

“Some of us who rushed into the First Step later discovered this might be another expression of our need to control things and work the “perfect” program.”

“First Step to Recovery”

I had only been in therapy for about six weeks when my counselor handed me two books about sexual addiction. Over the following weekend, the literature confirmed that I am a sex addict. The next week, I discovered a closed men’s meeting in my town, and I began attending weekly meetings. In one month’s time, without a sponsor, I had scheduled my First Step on the group calendar. Fortunately, someone in the group took me aside and explained the process. It was a wake-up call.

As with everything else in my life and addiction, I was trying to take control. I began to understand how pervasively my addiction had taken over my life. It also made me realize how critical it is to rely on the help of my fellow addicts, and, more importantly, my Higher Power. After that night, I began to take the Twelve Steps more seriously. My First Step would take much more time, and that was OK.

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Recovery and sobriety are only possible when I accept my powerlessness and accept help.