View all:  Voices of Recovery

July 4

“My best friends belong to the fellowship, men and women.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 153

I spent years in isolation, sure that people would reject me if they knew me, especially women. In recovery I made progress at being myself, but only with other men. I was too fearful to approach women. Then my Higher Power intervened.

My therapist asked me for local contact info so a female client could find a meeting. I was shocked to learn that half his sex-addicted clients were women—a ratio not reflected in our local groups. A light bulb went on in my head. I felt a nudge: “Do something!” I believe my Higher Power was whispering to me to move forward in my recovery. This prompt to reach out and offer healing to the female addict sparked a new direction.

At first it went badly, but I knew I was supposed to do this. Over several years, with persistence, I developed some good recovery friendships with women. My fear-induced obsession decreased markedly. I learned to offer safety and encouragement to the women I befriended, and I received something priceless in return—their acceptance. This, I believe, is what my Higher Power had wanted all along.

I am slowly learning to be myself and to support others in being themselves. I am breaking free of my shackles, and I am growing up. It is a sometimes scary but ever-beautiful experience.

With God’s help, I can be myself with the entire human race.