View all:  Voices of Recovery

June 10

“Asking for help releases us from the toxic isolation that drives our addiction.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 25

I was on my knees in a treatment facility, sobbing into my hands the painful words “I am so alone” when I realized how bereft I was of meaningful human contact. Sure, I had my acting out—a series of images that kept me isolated in endless shame, more extreme by the day. The insanity of doing the same things with the hollow oath “it will be better this time” ringing in my ears led me to hopelessness culminating in attempted suicide.

That day I made a commitment to reach out to others. I called and texted people. I asked people out for supper before the meeting or coffee after. I live an hour and forty minutes from the nearest face-to-face meeting. This requires a level of commitment and planning that I was not prepared to give to my recovery before. Other members noticed this commitment. They started to approach and talk to me. I was rarely touched as a child, and the hugs I was given really impacted me.

I now have numerous sponsees. I put time and effort into using the tools of recovery, and I have opened my heart to the wonderful communion that I can have with my Higher Power and with another human being. I have even learned to connect with myself. I have love to offer and I offer it. I am learning to accept love when it is offered to me.

I have love to offer. I will offer love today.