“Working [Step Ten] allows us to let go of both perfectionism and grandiosity.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 55
My ego has a difficult time taking a wide view of my strengths and weaknesses, my challenges and successes. My ego has no perspective. It thinks any single action by me will be the only factor that determines whether I am a good person or a bad person. This leads to paralyzing perfectionism. The Tenth Step reminds us that we will be wrong on a regular basis; therefore, there is nothing wrong with being wrong. The SAA program teaches us what to do when we’re wrong. We examine our part, we promptly admit our part, and we make amends when called for.
When I turn to my Higher Power, being wrong is not a sum total accounting of my self-worth. It is merely a normal occurrence in the life of a human being. This perspective allows me to relax and gives a sense of freedom to my life. I have been wrong in the past, I will be wrong in the future, and I have the tools to clean up my mess when I need to.
If I keep growing in my recovery and in my life, I will continue to make mistakes because I will continue to do new things. Because I am now sober in recovery, I have every chance of actually learning from my mistakes.
Mistakes can be a sign that I’m growing and learning.