June 20

“The phone is a central tool of recovery for many addicts.”

Tools of Recovery, page 9

Although I had been attending SAA regularly for two years, sexual sobriety had been hard for me to maintain. I would be sober for a couple weeks then return to my inner circle behaviors. I called my sponsor regularly; we worked the Steps together; I attended meetings regularly and shared at them; I took on service commitments; yet I continued to slip.

At my home-group meeting one night the topic was “using the telephone.” I had heard this before, but early in recovery I had decided it was not for me. I did not want to “bother people,” people who I truly thought would not want to hear from me.

In the discussion that night, I heard myself sharing how happy I was when people in SAA called me. Then it occurred to me that others might feel the same way to hear from me—and that I deserved to reach out in this way. The next day I decided to finally give this tool a serious try. On a regular basis, I began connecting with others outside the meeting in a new and deeper way, and I began developing closer relationships with others in the fellowship. I believe today that the willingness to finally try this particular tool helped contribute enormously to the sexual sobriety I enjoy today, one day at a time.

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Why wouldn’t others be as happy to receive my phone calls as I am to receive theirs?