“Humility is a result of the self-honesty we have gained through working the preceding steps. It comes from a realistic view of ourselves, a knowledge of both our strengths and limitations.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 43
Enumerating my character defects could easily descend into self-flagellation, but humility isn’t about beating myself up, it’s about accepting that I am nothing more and nothing less than human. In my active addiction, I set god-like standards for myself, and when I inevitably fell short of these delusional goals, I would swing to the other extreme and think I was utterly worthless. But as I journeyed through the Twelve Steps, I realized that I am not super-human or sub-human, I’m just plain human, and that’s okay. God loves me no matter what, and I don’t have to be perfect to be good enough.
This attitude of compassion toward myself soon broadened to the people around me and the world at large, and I gradually became less judgmental of everything and everyone. I have found that as long as I am in judgment of another, I am not at peace with myself. Once I let go of judgment, I can begin to appreciate the people God has put in my life and the abundant gifts and blessings they bring. With the realistic perspective of humility, I can learn to love myself and others the way God already loves me.
Instead of finding fault in myself and others today, I can just let us all be human together. I can let go of harsh judgment and find peace through humility.