June 29

“We find now that we have to take the First Step daily in order to keep current or centered.”

“First Step to Recovery”

The First Step contains a paradox. In admitting I was powerless, I gained release from my addictive behavior. In admitting my life was unmanageable, my life became more manageable.

Whether I must surrender my addiction to sexual behavior, or surrender behaviors that I start to uncover through working the Steps, it is a daily process. Admitting my behaviors and feelings is essential for creating awareness—the starting point for recovering. Sometimes the process of surrender happens hour-by-hour or minute-by-minute. For example, instead of yelling at God or anyone else when I have a flat tire, the best course of action is to accept that fact and change the flat tire. This not only gets the job done, I don’t get wrapped up in emotional baggage and I don’t owe anybody amends.

It is only when I realize surrender is a practice, not a one-time event, that I become more centered and serene. For the First Step paradox to become a reality, I must practice it regularly and be part of the process of recovery.

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Just for today, help me remember to surrender, take the First Step, and acknowledge my reality.