View all:  Voices of Recovery

June 6

“Rather than struggling with our life’s challenges as if we are alone and need to ‘figure it out’ ourselves, we share our thoughts and feelings with our Higher Power.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 56

Sometimes we may be hindered in accepting and carrying out God’s will for us because we feel unworthy, ashamed, or defective. Our addictive behavior strengthened our sense of shame and unworthiness. In turn, these negative beliefs made us more vulnerable to slips or relapse.

I am prone to shame and have spent much time kicking myself for my mistakes. Other people tell me I’m talented and that they see me as a good person, but I find their words hard to accept.

It’s easier for me to hand over these negative thoughts and beliefs about myself when I bring them into prayer. Since these beliefs are deeply rooted and laden with emotion, I try to go slowly, one belief at a time. For example, “God, I have come to believe that I’m defective and can never measure up to others. Is this true? What would you have me know?”

Sometimes nothing comes to me. If thoughts come, I try to write them down without analyzing or judging them. As I re-read what I have written, it becomes clearer if my thoughts have come from my Higher Power, from myself, or some mix of each. Often I’m surprised and uplifted by what I write and find myself going back to these words in times of discouragement.

Today I will allow God to speak the truth to some area of my negative thinking.