March 11

“We may have setbacks and difficult times. We may suffer the painful consequences of past behavior, or experience the pain of new growth. It is important that we not give up.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 66

My life is like a giant wheel. The top of the wheel is in the light and fresh air; the bottom of the wheel is grinding through mud. This wheel represents the ups and downs of life, and the way of life I have learned in SAA is like a snorkel. When I’m on the muddy side of the wheel, when I’m stressed and want to act out, I now have tools and people available to help me breathe as I slog through the mud on to the sunny side.

Now, when I see an opportunity to act out, I can ask my Higher Power for help, call my sponsor, find another activity, or meditate on my recovery. No longer must I hold my breath and suffer through the bottom of the wheel, or worse, try to back up and hide in my addiction. I have come to understand that the low points will happen, that they are just part of life. I have also discovered that, sooner or later, the wheel will again come around to the sunny side. And every time I go through a muddy patch and stay sober, the sunny side is a new experience of life. Today is the day where I am no longer bound by the chains of addiction.

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With the tools of SAA, I can keep breathing through the difficult patches and come out on the other side.