View all:  Voices of Recovery

March 21

“Being fully self-supporting means being aware of the responsibility of every member for supporting the group.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 88

Taking care of myself is vital for the health and welfare of my relationships. From my base of sobriety, I maintain my self worth. From this foundation, I am able to be responsible in my relationships.

In the past I used people to fulfill my selfish wants regardless of the consequences to others or to me. In recovery I have come to recognize I can’t go it alone. At the same time, I am responsible for my well-being. I have also recognized the danger in thinking that one individual has the capacity to meet my every need. For example, I am an avid marathoner, while my spouse is a homebody who enjoys gardening and romping with our dogs. Because of our different needs, we have different friends to meet those needs. He has friends through the gardening club, whereas I have friends through the running club. By being responsible for ourselves, we take care to meet our own needs without trampling on the rights of the other.

We are a unit, both standing strong in our recovery, self supporting, neither one in charge. Rather, we’re walking side by side, moving in the same direction. There is nothing we must face alone because we are both able to contribute.

By taking responsibility for my own welfare, I actually have something to contribute to my relationships—me.