“Many of us come into recovery feeling unlovable and unworthy.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 14
Early in recovery, my subconscious version of Step Two was that God would restore me to sanity once I proved myself worthy. I believed that I had no inherent value as a person, and that I had to prove I was loveable. In other words, I thought I had to fix myself before I could ask God to help me.
In recovery, I allowed a seed to be planted when I first asked for help, and God has lovingly watered the ground and shone life-giving light on me since. I’ve been growing as a result of God’s care, care that I allow in, a little at a time, as I work the Steps.
But I’m not done growing yet. It’s not fair of me to expect I will look like a full-grown plant before I’ve grown to that point. I am exactly where I should be in my progress. My Higher Power wants to nourish me as I grow, not shame me for failing to be something I’m not, yet.
I don’t have to earn God’s love or approval. God knows me and tenderly helps me grow. Today I will rejoice in the progress I’ve made and accept myself right where I am on my journey.
God will meet me right where I am.