View all:  Voices of Recovery

March 31

“From this simple beginning, belief in a Higher Power can grow.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 27

Many people get stuck at Step Two for one of two reasons. Some never believed and find it doubly difficult now after all the misery their addiction caused. Others, like me, were sincere believers, but the God I thought I knew did not fix my addiction. My image of God was corrupted by my addiction. Relying on my old God was like asking my addiction to provide recovery. I looked for a new God, but kept finding the same old one.

In desperation, I tried a simple, practical approach: I collected spiritual data for thirty days. I wrote down evidence of the program or of a Higher Power at work in my life, and in others in the program. I noted data points like a day clean without urges to act out, doing something different in response to an old stimulus, or a new opportunity to grow or help. I noted improvements in the lives of people in recovery. I did not read my notes; I just collected.

After thirty days, I sat down with the notes and my sponsor. The general path of addiction is downward. The data showed something different, something bigger at work in my life and in the lives of people around me. I started to see that my Higher Power had been there all the time.

Evidence for a Higher Power is all around me. If I open my eyes and heart, I just might find it.