View all:  Voices of Recovery

March 4

“We found ourselves isolated and alone, often gripped with fear and despair.”

“Sex Addicts Anonymous: A Pathway to Recovery”

I have a life-stealing, soul-sucking disease. I spent decades isolating, afraid of any but the most superficial interactions with people. There were times I felt I couldn’t go on, that life wouldn’t get better and didn’t seem worth living. At times, suicide seemed like a reasonable path.

I know of others who also believed that. Some took their own lives. They chose to end their lives rather than take the risks of reaching out and asking for help, or feeling the discomfort of self-discovery and acceptance. Maybe they couldn’t believe their own recovery was possible. If they tried recovery, it didn’t seem to work. If there was progress, it was too slow or was punctuated by setbacks. They gave up.

My own pathway to recovery also seemed slow. I had downs and further downs. I watched others come into recovery through the gift of desperation. They worked the program and the program worked them, yet there I was, still feeling so low. Sometimes I didn’t think it would ever work for me.

But I kept coming back to SAA. At my lowest point, I realized I had to do something. I reworked the steps and started to get honest with myself. I realized I had problems I was keeping secret, so I reached out to other sex addicts. Eventually I made connections, internal and external, that have transformed my life. I began to heal. Today, I’m grateful and glad that I’m still here.

I am worth it; you are worth it; life is worth it. It really does work if you work it!