March 6

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 21

When I first looked through the Twelve Steps of SAA, Step Four was the first one that scared the crud out of me. However, when I started working that step several months later, I found it more grueling than frightening.

Moving on to Step Five, I re-found the fear I thought I had lost during Step Four. Writing these things down gets easier the longer I do it. There’s nothing easy about saying the things I discovered to another human being. I took comfort in the thought that I should now know my sponsor fairly well, and realized that nothing I say would likely surprise her.

In my case, once I actually got started, after a couple of minutes of reading, it got easier and just kind of flowed. And, true to form, my sponsor stayed with me and offered support throughout the process. When I was done, I felt emotionally drained. That passed after a few days and I was simply glad that I was moving on, one step closer to sanity.

In working the Steps with a sponsor, I get practical training in something I never would have imagined: how to trust the process, my sponsor, my Higher Power, and myself.

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SAA is a place to practice trust. Grant me the courage to take the leap.