May 12

“We loosen the grip on our old destructive patterns, perhaps not knowing yet what will replace them, but in the faith that something better will be revealed.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 28

Step Three is one of conscious surrender and commitment. It is a small but measurable action to change my ways. This is where I take the risk to put my faith and trust in something else—not my addiction, not myself, not my friends or family. This is the humble pledge that asks that my Higher Power’s will, not my own, be done. It is the difficult task of letting go of the wheel. One member sums up the first three steps as: I have a problem and there is help, if I am willing to ask for it.

Step Three is where I consciously admit that I want guidance from someone or somewhere else to steer me down a better path. Many struggle with the notion of a God of their understanding, but this program asks and allows each of us to discover a Higher Power that works in our lives. It can take many forms, including the group conscience, nature, the universe, and good orderly direction. The program allows for all these and more.

What matters is that we believe, in no matter what infinitesimal amount, that something beyond ourselves has a better idea of where our road should lead.

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If I can accept that perhaps I am not the master of my destiny, and surrender what I cannot control, my life can head in a different and more positive direction.