May 21

“Obtaining and maintaining abstinence from inner circle compulsions is the bedrock foundation of all the personal growth which will surely follow.”

“Three Circles”

The only requirement for SAA membership is a desire to stop acting out. However, the reason I joined Sex Addicts Anonymous was to actually stop the acting out. In early days, I, like many others, had a number of slips. However, as time went on, I achieved abstinence from my inner circle through the Twelve Steps of SAA.

The phrase “progress not perfection” refers to my spiritual growth through the Steps. It is not a way for me to rationalize occasionally acting out over the years. Being gentle with myself does not mean deluding myself. Long-term abstinence is achievable, a day at a time, through the Twelve Steps of SAA. Without this abstinence I have no foundation—I am a still-suffering sex addict waiting to start recovery.

Having worked the Twelve Steps, I know a freedom and security I could never have imagined. For me, this would have been impossible without the bedrock I have been given by obtaining and maintaining abstinence from my inner-circle compulsions.

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Am I being honest with myself about Step One? Do I admit that I am powerless over my acting out and have to give it up for good, a day at a time? Or am I deluding myself that somehow, someday, I may be able to get away with acting out one more time?