May 22

“We would often put our addiction first and everything else second.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 25

God has always been my Higher Power of choice. I had come to an understanding in my adolescence that God was not exactly like any religion had led me to believe, and that understanding was something uniquely my own. Yet it took a while after I came to the program for me to realize that, even though I had this core belief, my spiritual higher power for many years, decades even, had been my addiction.

As I began to work the Steps and see how they applied to my own life, I saw how my addict had worked very hard to cover up the existence of my true Higher Power. The key part of Step Two has always been “could restore us to sanity.” My other higher powers professed and possessed the ability to do many things, but they kept me crazy, lost, and sick.

While I have made reasonable progress reconnecting to my spiritual center, I know I have many miles still to travel. I am not alone and do not need to face the challenges of life without support. The experience, strenght, and hope of my fellow brothers and sisters add to my journey. I am more willing to surrender because my personal experience has demonstrated that letting go is the only way I gain the power to overcome my disease.

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I know by trusting in a Power greater than myself, that I can find a new, better way to face life.