View all:  Voices of Recovery

May 23

“We choose to keep the company of people who respect us, care for us, and treat us well. We start to see life in terms of growth, change, and transformation.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 59

My SAA journey has been, despite its many struggles and apparent setbacks, a rediscovery of faith and hope. The truth is that I, who gave up on a benevolent, personal god long ago, now believe in both the promise and power of miraculous redemption.

Before I joined the SAA fellowship, I judged sexual predators mercilessly. They deserved, I felt, only the most harsh and absolute punishment. Then one evening, a man—a gentleman in every sense of the word—who handed out sobriety chips at my SAA meeting, shared that he had systematically molested his daughter. My jaw dropped. This man, whom I’d come to admire as sort of my SAA grandfather was now loved and admired by that daughter—and by me. At that moment I came to believe that redemption and even miracles are possible.

I later learned that such fantastical stories of growth and transformation are commonplace in SAA. In fact, another former sex offender is a member of my weekly feedback group. He is my mentor and my friend. If such miracles and redemption are possible for others, then maybe they are possible for me, too. I am amazed by, and oh so grateful for, the company I now keep.

Today I can believe in miracles and redemption. The evidence is in the company I keep.