View all:  Voices of Recovery

May 27

“Our circles are not set in stone for all time.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 16

Once, while praying and sitting quietly awaiting some kind of reply, I noticed I was uneasy with what message I might get. My prayer was about behaviors that were becoming a problem in my life and the shift of focus I might need in my recovery to address them.

I had gone through my circles with my sponsor. It seemed odd that they might need to be revised. My emotional reaction to the idea was resistance—this might require work.

Early in recovery, I was willing to make the changes that would get me out of the immediate pain I was feeling. The worst consequences of my addiction dropped off when I became abstinent from my inner-circle behaviors, but without the impending catastrophes that motivated my early changes, I became complacent. As my awareness grew, behaviors that I hadn’t put in my inner circle started to become questionable in light of the effect they were having.

My first action was to name the behavior and acknowledge that it, at least, raises questions. I prayed about it and then took it to my sponsor as we reviewed my circles. Reviewing my circles with my sponsor is a way I can get direction on behaviors I question, and the process brings them out into the light of day.

I will be honest with my sponsor. I will share behaviors that I question.