May 6

“Working the Fifth Step helps relieve us of the burden of our secrets, break through our isolation, and face ourselves honestly in a way we cannot do alone. With the Fifth Step, we come out into the open.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 37

The Fifth Step was big challenge. Having the discussion with my Higher Power about the exact nature of my wrongs, the underlying issues and drivers, took a good deal of courage and insight into my past and present behaviors. But in that process, I gained more awareness about myself, and was also able to start putting my wrongs into a healthier perspective. This started loosening the power and control they had to keep me shackled to my addiction.

Sharing this story with another person was something akin to giving a First Step, but with more depth and more varied emotions. It was a reasonably lengthy conversation, spanning several hours. At the end of it all, another huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I know I laid the foundation for forgiving myself in that process.

I view the Fifth Step as a cleaning of the slate, an opportunity to let go of many hurts and wrongs that kept me tied to the past. It enables me to spring forward with renewed energy and focus in my recovery.

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In voicing the nature of my wrongs and the anger, resentment, and pain of my past, I will give up those burdens that keep me locked in my addictive ways.