View all:  Voices of Recovery

November 13

“Admitting our wrongs to God opens the door to change within ourselves. We have found that God will help us find the courage and honesty we need in order to work this step.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 37

Coming from active addiction into recovery, I was intimidated by the idea of being honest about the exact nature of most things about me, much less my wrongs. Experience has taught that being honest in the First Step brings gifts like trust, openness, surrender, and even some courage—courage to continue the exploration.

Working the Fifth Step with my sponsor helped me distinguish the things I had done from my true self. I did those things and I am responsible for them, but those actions are not my true self and do not spring from it. Rather, they reflect a diseased part of me. Seeing the things I had done as separate from the true me gave me hope that change was truly possible. Through this process I received the gift of more courage—courage to continue the journey into understanding and growth.

Working Step Ten on a daily basis helps me see more of the things that I do which are not in line with my values or my recovery. Seeing the nature of those wrongs helps me choose other actions, including Step Seven. As a result, upon reflection, I can see even more courage in my life—courage to live life on life’s terms.

Higher Power, help me find the courage to be open to change.