View all:  Voices of Recovery

November 26

“The steps are the spiritual solution to our addiction—leading not only to a life of abstinence from our addictive sexual behaviors, but to a fulfilling life of service to our brothers and sisters in recovery and beyond.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 99

When I first came through the doors of SAA, I was at my bottom, but I still hoped there was some way I could hang on to my behaviors without having to change completely. I hoped my new friends in SAA could show me how I could keep doing all my old tricks, but without unmanageability, pain, and consequences. I hoped I could learn how to have control over my addiction without actually giving anything up. Wasn’t that what recovery was all about?

My new friends told me to keep coming back, to get a sponsor, to work the steps, and to do service. They handed me the format so I could lead the meeting, and suggested chores I could do, like keeping the key or updating the group listing in the directory. When I was ready, they invited me along to intergroup meetings and retreats.

I discovered that my Higher Power’s plan for me is much bigger than my old deluded dream of managing my addiction. Through working the steps and doing service, I get a life full of love and purpose, friends, and true intimacy. As a newcomer, I thought this program would offer no more than a way to enjoy sexual thrills without consequences. I discovered that the greatest gift of the program is love.

I thank God for my friends in recovery and the opportunity to be of service to others.