View all:  Voices of Recovery

October 11

“We allow ourselves to be known when we take this risk.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 25

I am a specialist at taking risks, something I share with others in SAA. We’ve boldly gone where no one in their right mind would want to go. I practiced these skills daily in the business of sexual addiction, putting myself and others in danger, enshrouded in a fabric of lies and secrets. At the same time, I hid the real me for fear of exposing myself and becoming vulnerable.

After years of successful recovery, I noticed that sobriety had become interlocked with risk avoidance. Recently I came across a spiritual principle: the universe wastes nothing. The God of my understanding wastes nothing. I welcomed this idea into my life, but it meant I must unite new conviction with action in order for it to be real for me.

Healthy risk-taking was born there. I risked falling back in love with my wife and even saying, “I love you.” What a new kind of outing oneself! I left my lifelong profession only to have it given back to me at the insistence of others. I am sustained in the sometimes-frustrating work I do, seeing it all as part of taking healthy risks. I try new ideas and approaches and I no longer fear making mistakes. I have also learned to let go of losses and successes, and embrace being in the moment.

Taking healthy risks builds trust.