“We feel victimized. And each time we play the event over in our minds, we feel victimized again. From this victim attitude, we often slip into an attitude of entitlement.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 34
Resentments are contamination from the past that block healthy choices in the present. Memories of abuse linger and can be transferred to today’s interactions with people who have not abused me in the past. Sometimes I hold these resentments like trophies from old battles. I wonder at times if these resentments aren’t my most valuable possessions, because I can hold onto them even when I lose many other valuable relationships or possessions.
The phrase “just for today” can be a reminder that I only need to work my recovery for this day rather than for the entire rest of my life. It can also remind me not to shape and view today’s choices and personal interactions by the worst experiences of my past. By letting go of resentments, I can free myself of contamination from the past so that I can be a loving person today in all of my interactions with others.
Rather than make my resentments my most valued possession, I can let my relationships and daily interactions provide me with valuable memories and relationships that are loving and kind.
Letting go of resentments is not a loss, but rather a freedom to be in the present.