View all:  Voices of Recovery

October 27

“What lies have you told to conceal your sexual activity?”

“First Step to Recovery”

Maintaining my addiction usually led me to covering my tracks by lying to my family, coworkers, and friends. As the compulsive nature of my sexual addiction engulfed my life, I compounded the lies on top of previous lies. Ultimately, when I forgot the specific details in the chain of lies, I had difficulty separating fact from fiction, and I hit rock bottom. That is when I decided to come clean with my conduct and speech.

As I traveled through the Steps with my sponsor, I learned rigorous honesty as I strengthened my relationship with my Higher Power. With the guidance of my sponsor, I learned, one step at a time, to take responsibility for myself. I noticed that my conscience, that “still, small voice within,” got stronger, too. I became accountable to myself, to my sponsor, to my group, and to my family and friends. Others, who heretofore suffered from my lies, slowly saw my growth in the truth and began trusting me. I will learn honesty through practice, and I will marvel at how much my memory improves!

Today I will practice honesty as an underpinning of my total recovery.