October 28

“SAA is open to all people regardless of age, race, religion, and gender or sexual preference.”

Getting Started in Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 3

I was hoping I’d outgrow my sex addiction as I got older. I mean, lower hormone levels have got to help, right? And guys don’t look at me as much as they used to, which is sometimes a relief—when I’m in avoidant mode, anyway.

But it only took one, and I was off and running. Anorexia? What’s that? Lower hormone levels? Not so you’d notice. Even at my advanced age, I managed to get into one of the unhealthiest relationships of my life. There I met some of my worst character defects mirrored in my would-be partner. Right in my face.

So, okay, I get it. I’m not going to outgrow addiction any more than I can outrun it or push it away. And denying my sexuality just drives me deeper into the sexual, emotional, and social isolation of avoidance. And just to be clear, isolation is very different from my natural and healthy introverted self.

Sex addiction doesn’t respect age any more than it respects any other human characteristic. I can’t outgrow it, I can’t outrun it, but I can be in recovery from it.

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Since I am a sex addict, for today, I choose recovery.