October 3

“Another gift of the program is the emphasis on developing a new way of life through a spiritual awakening.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 135

I recently read the Twelve Steps in a meeting. I’ve read them a hundred times, but Step Twelve spoke to me in a way I desperately needed that night.

After months of freedom, I was again struggling with obsession and cravings. Sure, I had just moved across the country, bought a new house, changed jobs (stay-at-home parent), and recently become pregnant with twins! The pregnancy was taxing and I had tapered off some medications for the health of the babies. But, I was working my daily practice, attending meetings, and using the tools. So, what was I doing wrong?

When I read Step Twelve that night, I realized that it promises a spiritual awakening as the result of working the steps. It doesn’t say, “You will never again experience obsession or cravings, you will never face challenges to your sobriety, and your life will be easy and carefree.” No, it doesn’t say any of that.

So what does that mean for me? Right now, my spiritual awakening means that my Higher Power is with me every second, provides everything I need to live sober in reality, no matter what, and loves and accepts me exactly as I am. I am good enough, I have enough, and I do enough, always. Period. Those core truths allow me to walk through anything that life brings with strength, courage, and hope.

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Today I can engage my life thanks to the spiritual awakening I found through the Twelve Steps.