View all:  Voices of Recovery

October 31

“While the inner circle relates to behaviors which keep us in permanent isolation and fantasy, the outer circle refers to behaviors which help us move out into the real world.”

“Three Circles”

At first, I didn’t think I belonged in SAA. I brought many negative pre-judgments, and I was embarrassed when we would go around the room to share. After several months and with the help of my sponsor, it started to sink in. I now look forward to meetings and feel empty if I miss one.

Each time I admit my inner-circle behaviors and how they have affected my family, I feel a deeper sense of regret for the pain I have caused. Because I am no longer hiding from this disease and its effects, I am free to establish positive counterparts: my outer circle. I wasted so much time and energy acting out. Now I am concentrating on my outer circle with a renewed awareness of its power.

For me, hobbies that I enjoy give me pleasure and a sense of accomplishment. Putting my thoughts into writing reveals abilities I had buried and neglected. Meaningful, honest conversations with my partner bring us closer. Prayer and meditation reveal that life is good. Acknowledging both the inner and middle circles keeps me aware.

As I tend my outer circle, new rewards and possibilities appear.

Just for today, I will live in my outer circle.